Week Twenty-four: Carrie

We are in the waning days of the MKMMA course that I have loved so much. Just one more Sunday, graduation day. I observe myself from this moment. I am armed with skills for going forward. I have habits in place that I will look at again, deciding which ones stay and which ones go. The important thing is that I know how important these habits are. I have created space for them and that space will remain for the rest of my life. I have shown myself to be disciplined and persistent. Coming into the course I did not know these were my traits. Now I do. There is much more that I received from the course that I could talk about but my mind now moves on.

I am bustling around looking forward now. Our Tribe meetings will continue, I will continue my weekly sits with my mastermind partner, and I am adding some new actions. I am very excited to begin a writing course with Martha Beck called Writing into the Light. Of course it begins on Tuesday, right after the MKMMA course ends. How perfectly, Divinely timed. I will continue to explore my spiritual life through writing.

I am not leaving this course with my true DMP, however. Not quite. Our webinar on Sunday moved me very much as Mark told his story of having his niggling feeling that there was something more. His sharing of his two aha moments was profound for me. I know that I have a realization to make as well, similar but different.

This week as I was working with my container  (see week 23) I heard, “Who are you without being a Suzuki teacher?” Again, it was a reminder about closing the door to the completed dharma and opening a new door. What if I was Carrie with all the skills that developed through being a Suzuki teacher, but without the personification of the 45 years of Suzuki teaching? How much of my ego needs this definition?  Who am I without it? My mastermind partner suggested that I walk into my container and try on the vibration of simply Carrie, not Carrie in the role of Suzuki teacher. I felt lighter- like some baggage fell off my shoulders. I stood straighter as well.

I cannot say where this is taking me, but I thank this course for bringing me this far on my journey. My service as a Suzuki teacher is such a part of my entire being since early childhood, that I know I would not be this far in observing something new around the corner without all the gifts I embraced from our course. Thank you to all of you for standing by as beautiful observers along the way. I will keep you posted.  Mahalo.